I don’t know why or how or who, but before these eyes, Torah distills itself down to its most essential truth. It crystallizes into a rock salt, sweeter than sugar and more precise than math. At its core every instance of Torah seems a mathematical proof, the root of which is always the same number. An infinite, irrational number in a constant repetition, prime and perfect.
This is my torah.
My hope is only to share it- from these eyes- with you.
For it is silently and perfectly everywhere. On our eyelids and tongue at this moment, it is none other than the heart within the machine pounding in your chest.
It is the intention inside of every taste bud
and it is none of these.
It is the possibility of being both particle and wave simultaneously
It is paradox held gracefully in one glance,
and every moment of life.
It is the fact of our being nothing and everything.
Truly, you are the wave, the bird and tree.
You are All that is.
And a mere speck.
This is the fact of our being.
The only true knowledge comes of surrender.
And as long as I am a finite being, I find I cannot surrender silently,
though constantly I do.
As long as I am in this finite body I will attempt to employ some language, imploring it into some semblance of finite expression of the constant prime and perfect number that is everything and everywhere, eternal, you, me, and nothing at all.
Please prepare to consider an apparently ‘attempted murder’ that crystallizes into utter and ultimate surrender of Self back to itself.
Take it in, accepting it for this momentary expression that it is, meant to then crash back into its own waters, having offered its distinction then ultimately sacrificing itself, its uniqueness, idea, and expression to Return.
The journey of this piece parallels the journey of the self. Offering itself up in a defined wave of specificity and uniqueness, to then reimmerse into a wordless sea in which all that was said is silently known. Where all simply is. The silent knowing of which all of language and life is in service; creation’s sole purpose being its revelation- to both reveal and revel in it.
If you would now, wherever the wave of your existence might be expressing its distinction at this moment, consider slightly turning upwards the corners of your lips, allowing the eyes to soften, the heart to sssssh, and the mind to melt for this moment so you might resemble the sea and find yourself reflected.
Here, there is nothing for you to believe.
Nothing here to ponder.
Take it in with your heart. Let it softly consider itself then let it go along with everything else you can think of. If just for this moment.
For truth, truly cannot be thought. Only directly experienced.
It is beckoning now that we waves surrender our distinction of mind and thought and immerse ourselves back into our own waters.
[The secret is this, when we do surrender that which we call “me” we are introduced to he/she we would have that “me” become. With an authenticity and effortless peace we never dared fathom, he/she overwhelms the “me” with love and we find it speaking with a voice we recognize from our dreams. Now, though, it comes off the tongue in our own mouth and speaks the little me to rest.] When the me is traded for the I am, she never looks back in regret. She is busy basking in the light of who she’s become. The me is a speck on the windshield of the I am. In moments she wishes she were driving, but mostly she is head back squealing at the joy of this ride.]
In our distinction
we are each Abraham,
Return to Self.
Join me in a format borrowed from the wave of math, a skeletal structure of sea salt that appeared to these eyes in a flash of reflection. May all we see here is ourselves and know finally our names to be accessories.
(This is an introduction to the Binding of Isaac- the Akedah.)
photo: Jeff Green