A very popular song in our moment croons You only know you Love her when you let her go. It indicates that it is when she finally flees or you leave her that you awaken to her worth, to the extent to which you loved her. And now she's gone. Bad timing in the recognition. And of course this happens. And of course it hurts.
Best news ever-
You can let her go, i.e. be non-attached and unconditional, whilst staying with her- and recognize that you love her (know that you love her), to boot. "Funny" how we can be with someone for such long times and not really know that we love them, for we're holding on too tightly- for them to shine, for us to see accurately, for love to thrive.
You only know you Love her when you let her go, not because she's gone but because she is standing there, and you see her so clearly, in such open-palmed love.
If we don't let each other go, let each one live fully in his maximum potential in that moment, following the inner GPS that has been with him his whole life, then even when together we may not know we love her, for we don't know what love is. We are not in love, but in fear. And far too much in fear to see clearly. Far too close to resentment to be in gratitude. You only know you love her, when you let her go.
You can only know true love, when you've allowed her to be herself, even when it is other than the most preferred choice, even if it introduces you to some discomfort, if it expands you out of the constrictions your fear puts on her.
If your love for her is conditional upon her being tied to you, then it is not love. You only know you Love her when you let her go.
And, yes you only know you love her, as in, you can only tell that one loves another, there is proof to your actually Loving, actually knowing what love is and embodying it, when you do let her go.
So much gentleness in it all, loves. Towards yourself. We've been pretty well-conditioned that relationships based on fear are righteous and practical. So exciting and scary to start to question whether our Home ends where the walls begin. So we're breaking through those flimsy, fear-based walls, paper thin, and finding the glorious castle we're born in.
Evolution is slow. Until it happens at light-speed.
All together Now.
You've let her go so she can be in her fullness, you in yours', and your love in Its. A practice and an Art. Boldness to Heart.